Burning
by The Confused One
Summary: For everyone who wants the letter from In the Wee Small Hours to burn. BA


Burning

By: The Confused One

Summary: ITWSH Post-ep. story. Bobby and Alex burn the letter.

Rating: K+

Warnings: Spoiler warnings for "In the Wee Small Hours".

Archive: Just let me know where. Thanks.

Disclaimer: Unfortunately I don't own CI or the characters. If I did Bobby and Alex would be VERY…happy. LOL I'm not making any money off of this. So, please don't sue, unless you want the lint in my pockets. Thanks.

A/N: We all keep saying we wish they would burn the letter, well, I decided to do just that. There's some angst, some romance, and the letter is burned. LOL Enjoy, and please remember to review. Thanks.

Reaching Bobby's apartment, Alex steeled herself for what was about to come. She had gone home, changed into sweats, and gone for a run, but it hadn't helped a bit. She had changed again and went over to Bobby's. She had to make sure they were truly OK. She just wasn't reassured by what he said at the courthouse. She knew him too well, loved him too much. There was no way he was completely unscathed. There was no way he was as fine as he had seemed at the courthouse. The more she thought about it, the worse she felt. The worry and guilt was killing her. The idea that she had hurt him ate at her. She had to make sure he knew she was never going to leave, and well, if it turned out that he didn't, she had a plan that would hopefully prove it to him. Taking a deep breath, Alex knocked on the door.

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Bobby stared out the window in the den and nursed his scotch. He knew she had written the letter five years ago, and didn't mean a word of it now. Watching the cars drive by he surmised that he'd be able to let it go with a little time, but he would be lying to himself if he didn't admit it hurt. Similar letters had been written in the past about him, and it always hurt, but this one was different. It hurt a little less and a little more at the same time. It hurt more because he loved her, which he had long since given up trying to deny to himself even when he could never work up the courage to admit it to her, and because they were so close. She was his best friend. It hurt a little less because she had stayed despite having written a letter stating her intentions to leave. She had seen something in him worth staying for, and he'd be damned if he knew what had actually changed her mind. He'd never understand why she didn't follow through and leave like the others, but he was never going to push for answers. He was never going to give fate or Alex ideas. It would kill him if he lost her. She was everything to him.

Bobby sipped at the scotch. He had seen the pain etched in the eyes and face of the normally stoic Alex Eames when she had been on the stand, and he had seen her silent pleas for forgiveness, and that's what he had tried to give her outside the courtroom. He had tried to tell her that they would be alright, and he had no doubt about that. They were stronger than a five year old letter. They would be OK because of one simple fact. She stayed, even after writing the letter. And for that one act of mercy on her part he could never repay her. Because she stayed he could never show her anything but the love he had for her. Holding it against her would just be petty after seeing how much pain it caused her. He would never make her feel guilty about writing it in the first place. He would never use it against her, and he would give her all of the reassurance that she needed that they would be fine, that they were fine.

A quiet knock at the door brought him out of his reverie. Setting the glass of scotch down on the coffee table, Bobby made his way to the door. Opening it, he was momentarily surprised to see Alex. Recovering, he began, "Hi."

Alex took a deep breath and looked him over. She was relieved that he seemed to be in one piece and not drunk. Though, she could swear she smelled the hint of scotch. She sighed. Careful to keep her voice from cracking, Alex tried to explain her presence, "I, uh, wanted…can we talk?"

Giving her a quick nod, Bobby stepped aside and allowed her to enter. He knew why she was here, the letter. He studied her for a moment before closing and locking the door. Turning to face her, he offered, "Do you want something to drink?"

Alex shook her head. Following him further into the room, she saw the glass of scotch. With another sigh, she sat down on the couch. She watched Bobby do the same, and it occurred to her that he was following her lead. Never one to mince words, she dove in, "I should have told you years ago. You deserve to know what happened."

Bobby rubbed his face. He really didn't want to know the details. He didn't want to know anymore than she had written the letter but decided to stay anyway. He clumsily tried to explain, "You don't have to tell me anything, Eames. It's really OK."

Alex shook her head. Pointing to the glass, she insisted, "No, it's not. You're drinking alone, and I'm feeling kind of sick."

Bobby turned his head to look at her. He quickly tried to reassure her, "I've had one glass of scotch. You stayed. That's what's important to me. You don't have anything to feel guilty about. We're OK."

Alex closed her eyes for a moment. Bobby was being way too understanding. That just served to worry and annoy her both. She wasn't sure she deserved it or that he really felt it. Since she had gotten off the stand she hadn't been able to get the look in his eyes out of her head. Before he covered all traces of pain, she saw it, and it killed her just a little more. The treasonous words, and she did think of them as traitorous, from the letter mocked her and refused to leave her even as she desperately tried to forget them. To her, the letter had been her ultimate form of betrayal, and sitting there, on Bobby's couch, she knew she should have copped to it years ago, before he had to hear about it in open court. He deserved better, a lot better.

Even worse, Alex knew, he needed better. She knew his past. It was littered with people who had abandoned and left him. At the time, she had finally begun to get him to open up, and she hadn't wanted to ruin that by telling him what she almost did. It meant that there was still something she needed to know. There was one thing she had to be sure of. One thing would assure her that they would be fine, if not immediately then eventually. Turning a little face him, Alex met his eyes and asked, "If I could take it back, I would. I'm sorry it exists. I'd never even consider leaving now. You know that, right? You know I'm not going anywhere?"

With a quick nod, Bobby assured her, "Yeah, I do."

Alex breathed a little easier. That had been her greatest fear, that he would stop trusting her and, by extension, them. Resisting the urge to reach out and touch him, she sighed and replied, "Good, because I'm not going to leave. You make my life better, Bobby. I…"

Bobby waited as she trailed off. He wasn't sure what to say or do. He felt utterly lost. "Eames, I-I don't know what you need from me. I don't know how to reassure you, except to say that…it wasn't about you. He couldn't find anything on you, so he used you to try to discredit me. Garrett wanted to hurt me. He wanted to hurt us. I won't let him do that. He doesn't have that kind of power. I won't give it to him. We're stronger than that. Our…connection is stronger than that. He can't make me doubt that or you. You're always there for me. More importantly, you're not here because you have to be. You want to be here, and that means more to me than you know. I don't know why you put up with me, but I'm grateful that you do."

Alex met his eyes. She could see it then, his need for their connection. It was obvious to her that no matter what he said out loud, he very much needed a little reassurance from her too. He needed to know he was right and that she still trusted in them and him. He needed to know that their connection was still there. Instead of implementing the plan she had come up with, Alex continued to sit on the couch and looking into Bobby's eyes. There was suddenly a better plan. "Because…I love you."

Bobby's eyes grew huge. His mind was racing and reeling. It was the last thing he ever expected to hear from her, and he didn't dare assume the depth or real meaning behind the words. Searching her eyes for any hint of meaning, he unsteadily tried to speak, "Eames…" His voice faltered though, and he let it trail off.

Alex swallowed hard. She was suddenly aware of exactly what she had just said and the implications of it. Shaking her head and tried to blow it off, "No. Don't. I-I shouldn't have said that."

Bobby knew then what her words meant. He honestly never thought this day would come. He never thought that he would have everything he ever wanted, Alex, within his grasp, and he wasn't about to let the opportunity slip through his fingers. "Eam-Alex, I'm in love with you. I've been in love with you for a long time."

Alex's heart skipped a beat. Taking a deep breath, she reached out and ran her fingers across his cheek. Reaching his mouth, she traced it with her finger. Never breaking eye contact, she leaned forward. Finding his mouth, she hungrily attacked it with her own. Never breaking the kiss, she straddled him and moved into his lap, eliciting a small moan from Bobby in the process.

Wrapping his arms around her waist, he pulled her closer. As he kissed her he could barely believe it was real. They were strong and needy kisses. Air finally becoming an issue, Bobby pulled away. Breathing heavily, he met her eyes and moved a few strands of hair out of her face. He whispered, "You are so beautiful."

Blushing slightly, Alex gave him a crooked smile. This was more than she had hoped for, but the letter was still eating at her. Closing her eyes, she sighed. She couldn't go any further yet. She had to make sure the letter thing was taken care of and dealt with first. She didn't want any lingering issues between them. Meeting his questioning eyes, she explained, "I can't let it go."

Bobby sighed. Leaning his head back, he felt her get up. He could sense her pacing, seemingly waiting for something. Finally straightening up, he followed her pacing form with his eyes. Slightly amused, he teased, "I think you're spending too much time with me."

Smiling a little at his joke, Alex finally stopped. Turning to face him, Alex walked back over to the couch. Sitting on the coffee table across from Bobby, she found her courage and her voice. "I, uh, wasn't sure what I was going to find or what was going to happen tonight. I didn't expect…things to come out, and I don't want the past to affect what we have. I hate myself for writing it to begin with, but I can't take it back. I feel even worse about how you found out about it. All I can do is…damage control, and that's why I came. I needed to make sure you were OK, that we were OK." Looking down at the floor, Alex continued, "I had this whole plan worked out to prove it to you, too."

Bobby leaned forward and took her hands into his own. Bobby replied, "Look at me. None of it is worth any guilt or self-hatred. It was a different time. Please try to let it go. It's over. I want to put it back in the past, where it belongs. We deserve that much." Bobby watched her carefully. When she nodded, he was a little relieved. It meant, at the very least, that she had heard him. Curious, he changed the subject, "A plan?"

Alex closed her eyes and sighed. Getting up, she grabbed her purse. Pulling out a piece of paper and a lighter, she explained, "You have to understand. I didn't understand you, and you were so damn aloof. I couldn't work like that. I wrote the letter, and Deakins convinced me to sit on it for a day. But it was like you sensed something because…you finally began to let me in a little. For the first time you asked my opinion and actually seemed to acknowledge my existence. You began to let me into your thought process, and I began to understand you. I learned more about you in that one day than I had the whole first three months that we knew each other. I withdrew my request the next day. I didn't tell you because I had just started making inroads with you. I didn't want to lose that progress. After awhile, it became more about not wanting to hurt you. I know what you've been through, and I didn't want to be someone else who walked away, but this was worse. This was public, and it was the worst way for you to have to find out about it."

Shaking his head, he replied, "But you didn't leave. You're different than the others. You didn't walk away. You didn't give up on me even when I gave you every reason to. You've…stayed longer than anyone else. I didn't sense anything, Alex, it was just you. You pushed and got under my skin. You got my trust and you got me to open up during a time I had stopped letting myself open up to partners. They never stayed. None of that can be altered over a letter or when I found out about it." Looking from her eyes to her hand, he asked, "What is that?"

Taking a deep breath, Alex explained, "It's, uh, my copy of the letter. I found it when I went home, hadn't looked at it in years. I, uh, purposely filed it in the back of the drawer so I could forget about it, and I mostly had until today. I brought it, in case I needed to burn it. It was kind of my brilliant plan."

Bobby smiled. He liked the idea and agreed, "I think it's a good idea. It should be burned."

Alex, almost startled, asked, "Really?"

Bobby nodded. He explained, "It's a way for you to let go of it so we can move forward."

Alex nodded. She appreciated the sentiment and found she couldn't disagree with it. Maybe it would help. With a nod, she agreed, "Alright."

Alex watched as he just gave her a quick nod, signaling for her to go ahead. Flicking the lighter, she put the paper to the flame. She watched it burn for a moment before she put it in the fireplace and continued to watch it shrivel into ashes. After a moment she felt familiar arms wrap around her waist. Releasing the tension from her body, she gladly eased into his embrace and let her head rest against his chest.

As the fire died, Bobby kissed the top of her head, before whispering, "See, it's gone now."

Turning to face him, Alex smiled. Finding more success shaking off the day, she wrapped her arms around his neck. Kissing him, she responded, "Thank you."

Kissing her, Bobby guaranteed her, "I love you. Nothing could change that, including a five year old letter."

Meeting his eyes, she replied, "I love you, too."

With a nod, Bobby assured her, "I know." Taking her hand, he led her to his bedroom.


End file.
